i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
