Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
