It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
