i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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