hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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