i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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