Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
