Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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