I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
