p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
