mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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