I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
