hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
