I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
