Already got asked if we're dating
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
