so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
