I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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