She went from zero to smokin in five shots
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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