Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
