East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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