Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
