your parents love me but you hate me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
