My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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