my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
