ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
