So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
