Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
