How'd it feel making her break her religion?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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