Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
