That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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