I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
