no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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