Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
