I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
