Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
