do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
