He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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