Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
