We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
