is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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