But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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