Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
porn star boner night. come get it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
