Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
