Duck Duck Cougar?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
