I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
