You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
