this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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