I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
