I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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