I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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