He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
