Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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